❝If you suggest an idea that is too boring, no one is going to care; if you suggest something too crazy, no one is going to follow you there. ❞— Britney King, Room 553

Yesterday, after I posted a snippet of the foreword of Room 553 on social several people messaged the page asking where they could find the rest of it. It quickly became apparent that it had no home on the internet. I remedied that below.

In addition, there have been lots of questions about audiobooks of my titles. They are coming, I’m just not sure when. I’m in negotiations over the rights and am contemplating which route makes the most sense in the long run. I know readers don’t care about the manner in which a thing is delivered, they just want the thing. But to be fair, I didn’t want to leave your questions unanswered.

Anyhow, here’s the foreword. It’s satirical and kitschy…a bit like the characters themselves. You can also read the prologue here. 

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Foreword

Take my advice, if you’re reading this: Quit while you’re ahead. Put it down. Walk away. A few chapters in and you’ll wish you had. It won’t be long now. Save yourself.

It’s not too late.

Get out while you can. 

Surely, there is something better you could be doing. Why bother with this? You could just as easily be scrolling social media. Netflix and binge, or Netflix and chill—whatever the cool kids are calling it these days—you could do that. Treat yourself to a latte. Call your mom. Mow your lawn. Take one of those master classes on the internet. You know, the ones taught by celebrities? I hear they’re good. 

You could make something out of yourself. 

It’s not like you’re getting any younger. 

What happens here is just going to piss you off. Trust me, it only goes downhill from there. 

Really. If you can do anything else, do that. 

This is not a joke. It’s not some reverse psychology gimmick. What you’re getting is a terrible story about a highly educated, very stupid man. A terrible, pretty much true-life story about people you’d never want to meet. If you decide to continue on, do so at your own risk.

But don’t say I didn’t warn you. 

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