Chin Up, Girl. Chin UP.

“I have spent a good many years since–too many, I think–being ashamed about what I write. I think I was forty before I realized that almost every writer of fiction or poetry who has ever published a line has been accused by someone of wasting his or her God-given talent. If you write (or paint or dance or sculpt or sing, I suppose), someone will try to make you feel lousy about it, that’s all.” ― Stephen KingOn Writing

I’ve thought a pretty good deal about whether or not to post this….because in general I don’t believe in shedding light on negativity. The last thing I want is to add fuel to the fire. That said, I also believe that it’s important to set a precedent on how you expect to be treated. In the end, I thought about my children and how I’d want them to react if someone were treating them badly. And I’d hope that they would have the courage to not only stand up for themselves… but also for what they believe in. -B

This past week the world of author land (via the web) has been a relatively negative one. Which makes me pretty sad- because as a general rule I try and stay away from negativity and drama. But there are a few things in particular that I did want to address: I received my first few pieces of hate (e)mail. I’m not going to rehash or share what was said here…because in my opinion that would lend credence to it. I will say that it’s a waste of time sending me mean emails because I really don’t pay attention to what (hateful) people think of me. If one wants to send helpful critique… then by all means. Yes, my novel is dark (and some would even say twisted) which is why I’ve added a warning label- just about everywhere possible. It isn’t required reading material and as a consumer all major retailers have fairly generous return policies. As a writer, I stand behind my story. I do not read or respond to people writing for the sake of being mean.

Which brings me to the fire storm of press that author M. Leighton has received this week for taking her novel down because a few people couldn’t handle its dark content. I’m not inclined to judge this author or her motivations for un-publishing her work. I don’t know her but I can relate (a little) to how she feels. Putting yourself out there is inviting people to judge you. And it takes a certain type of grit not to give a shit- especially when their judgement is not in your favor. The thing about email, social media, and the internet is that it gives people a certain power. You can say (write) what you think while for the most part remaining anonymous. And because of this there are a whole crop of assholes out there just looking for an opportunity to utilize their newly found power. They say things they would never say to your face as though wielding a sword, waiting to stab the first thing that moves. It’s crazy. It’s the not funny- kind of funny. It’s sad. And yet their audience thrives on it. They feed on the drama of it all. As for me, I decided not to pay attention to it. I do however pay close attention to the energy I surround myself with- and it’s my belief that once you draw a line in the sand and let people know that you won’t tolerate their bad behavior… they get bored. And they do what bullies do… they move on to their next target.

So what I would say to M. Leighton (if she were a friend) is this: taking down your work but only after telling everyone it will be gone forever within the next two days…is going to seem a little bit overly dramatic to the general public. They will see it as a publicity stunt and one way you propelled yourself into the top 100. Unfortunately, there will surely be backlash in that, too. And it’s a choice you’ll likely regret. Because in the long run you’re letting your critics win. You’ll come to find for the very reasons that people wrote to say that they hated the book, will be the exact same reasons others love it. Either way, this decision as a writer is a personal one that is yours to make. And truthfully, it really isn’t right for me or anyone else to debate it. But don’t let temporary defeat stop you from doing what you love. Get back to writing. And chin up, girl. Chin UP.

“I don’t have time, energy, or interest in hating the haters; I’m too busy loving the lovers.” ― Steve MaraboliUnapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

You Asked…I’m Telling.

“I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies.” – Pietro Aretino

Recently, I’ve gotten a lot of questions about myself as a writer, my novel Bedrock and what it’s all about. So…I thought I’d share the answers to some of the most frequently asked questions here. ;)

1. What is Bedrock about? Who should read it and who shouldn’t?

First of all, you can find the synopsis here. Ultimately, though Bedrock is a story of love, loss, hanging on, and surviving in spite of the odds. While I’d like to say that everyone should read Bedrock, that is simply not the case. For starters, this novel isn’t for those under the age of eighteen. It isn’t for those looking for a light and fluffy (beach) read. Because Bedrock deals with dark subject matter…if you tend to see life as black and white, right or wrong, then Bedrock may evoke strong emotions thus making it not the best choice.

All that said, if you appreciate a love story full of twists and (shocking?) turns and don’t mind the darker side of romance, sexuality, or profanity then you may want to take a peak. You can download the first few chapters for free on all major retailers.

2. Is Bedrock about you?

Ha! I get this one a lot. No, Bedrock is a fictional story. Although, there are a few characteristics within each character (especially Addison) that I share.

3. How long did it take you to write the novel?

About three months. There are a lot of things (so, so many) that have to happen when you publish as an indie author, so while the actual writing took about 12 weeks the entire process took about six months. Or ten years if one were to ask my husband… :)

4. Why did you write a this story?

Well…I wanted to write a story that would provide a nice escape from domestic life. ;)

I read a lot and I tend to choose books because they provide a respite from the realities of day-to-day life. They take me to another time, another place, and make me contemplate life. Most of these books, Fifty Shades of Grey being one of them tell the story of a young girl just starting out in life. With Bedrock I wanted to tell a story that featured a character whom I could relate to, one who is in a similar stage of life. In this case, the protagonist, Addison is married with young children. When she finds herself in a situation that she didn’t see coming she has to make choices. However, unlike the younger characters in my favorite books, Addison has a family (and responsibilities) so these choices affect not only her, but those she loves most in the world.

Psychology, our collective experiences, and what motivates us a human beings has always fascinated me. How we see the world and how it affects the choices we make is something I think about often. In addition, I like characters who are relatable and flawed.

5. Bedrock has been compared to Fifty Shades of Grey. How do you feel about that? And Why did you include BDSM?

Well…I mean who could possibly complain about being compared to 50 Shades?!? Just look at its success. :) BUT it does worry me some. Or a lot, actually.

Yes, Bedrock and 50 Shades are similar in that they both contain BDSM and violence. This worries me because these ingredients evoke strong feelings in readers. It REALLY worries me because while I love 50 Shades…I did not feel that it accurately portrayed BDSM. When writing Bedrock I did a lot of research into the world of BDSM. In 50 Shades, BDSM was sexualized where traditionally BDSM is not intended for sexual purposes or satisfaction. In 50 Shades it was more about a young couple experimenting and thus the comparison concerns me. For example, if a reader is picking up Bedrock expecting a light, fluffy read about a young couple experimenting with bondage and domination yet in turn reads a darker story (that is so much more than that) then they are likely to be disappointed. I guess what I am trying to say is that it may be more than the reader bargained for.

Why so dark? Hmmm. Stories of breaking one psychologically (such as what happens with POW’s) have always been interesting to me. What is even more interesting is the survival instinct that lies within us all. And the great capacity we have to love and be loved. So while I wouldn’t say that Bedrock is a happy beach read- it is in many ways a story of survival and hope.

6. Your reviews have been pretty good thus far. What’s next?

Yes, the reviews have been overwhelmingly good. But there are those who’ve read Bedrock and said it’s just not for them. I completely respect that. In addition, there have been a few book bloggers that have made the decision not to read or review the story because it contains infidelity. I can only hope that thanks to the success of the recent release of The Great Gatsby that they may eventually come around. :) Anyhow, I understand that the subject matter is not for everyone and I want to be upfront about that.

As for what’s next, I’m currently working on the sequel to Bedrock which is tentatively scheduled to release in September or October. While Bedrock was originally intended to be a stand alone…in the end I felt there was more we needed to hear from these characters, that their story was far from over. I also have a third novel in the works for early 2014.

7. Where can I buy your novel?

I get this question regularly via Facebook and it’s always a little flattering and plenty embarrassing (what kind of marketer am I anyway?:) when people ask me this. You can find Bedrock on Amazon, B&N, iBooks, Kobo, Smashwords and at BookPeople.

What He Said. + Time For A Teaser.

“I think I’m in the best place I’ve ever been in so many ways. I’ve just come out of five years of very difficult times for numerous reasons and yet at the same time it’s lead to such growth. It’s very exciting that way.” - Erin Gray

It’s not everyday that the youngest of your five children turn FIVE years old on the very same day that you receive your first five star review. It’s the power of five, I guess :) That said, I am so excited to share the review with you. The fact that it is written by a man…well, is just an added bonus. ;) Truthfully, I wasn’t sure if Bedrock would appeal to men. Thanks Paul of Little Ebook Reviews for letting me know that it can!

Dear Britney,

 Thank you again for the file and for reaching out. I just posted a review on amazon.com and on my blog. I enjoyed “Bedrock”. I was surprised in a sense because it is not necessarily the type of book I go for but it was very interesting, gripping and entertaining.

Best regards and well juggled!

Paul Little

The review: “Bedrock is captivating and interesting. As a book it tells a number of stories from the lives of the characters which gives a feeling of depth. At its heart, though, this is a story about choices and the opportunities that life throws up. There is love, betrayal, intriguing personalities and lovely scene setting. This is a book with plenty of adult themes and while not graphic in detail it is not shy about its content. There is also something just beyond real about this book, somehow just too much neatness comes out of the chaos at times.Bedrock hits a fine balance and I found this book to be very entertaining and gripping and once started I found it difficult to stop reading, to read what was to happen next.This is an excellent debut and surely Britney King has a juggler’s skill.”

Also, I missed posting a “Tuesday Teaser” yesterday but that’s the story of my life…always a day late and a dollar short. :)

Any who, better late than never, so here you go….

An excerpt from Bedrock:

As the elevator started to climb, Addie turned her attention back to her phone, waiting for Jessica’s reply.

“Don’t you think it’s strange how two people can be standing inches from one another in such a confined space and yet hardly acknowledge one another?” the deep voice behind her said.

Addie looked up, her eyes meeting his in the mirror.

He didn’t wait for her reply. “I’ve always thought so anyway.”

Addie smiled nervously. For the first time, she really took notice of the man. He was tall and very handsome: dark hair, piercing blue eyes, dressed impeccably. Probably gay. Men this beautiful usually were.

He extended his hand. “I’m William Hartman. And no, I’m not gay. It’s a pleasure to meet you. What did you say your name was again?”

Holy shit. Did I say that out loud? Addie swallowed nervously, pretty sure she hadn’t. This man was clearly messing with her. She hadn’t said her name. Two can play at this game.

P.S. Over on Goodreads almost 200 of you have added Bedrock to your shelves. THANK YOU! I am so grateful. And 356 people entered my last giveaway. Wow. FYI, there is another going on now. So hop on over there and check it out.

What She Said.

“Critics are sentinels in the grand army of letters, stationed at the corners of newspapers and reviews, to challenge every new author.” - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow 

I’ve been meaning to post these reviews of Bedrock for a while now. In the interest of full disclosure, I have been a little hesitant because they’re reviews by my beta readers and to be openly honest and transparent… my beta reviewers are all people who are close to me in some way. That said, because of this I was afraid that they would all say that they loved it –even if they didn’t. Any writer knows this is not what you want when dealing with beta readers and critique. Thankfully, a few of them loved it as it was and made minor suggestions here and there. But even better a few of them challenged me beyond what I expected. I’m going to share a few of the reviews here including one from a blogger who is not particularly close to me. Even though she ultimately decided not to review my book via her blog or give it away to her audience, I loved her email SO much it nearly brought me to tears. Because here’s the thing: God bless bloggers. God bless those willing to take the time to read and/or review my book(s).

I understand that not everyone is going to love what I write. And (for the most part, I am human after all) I’m ok with this. In this business you have to be. :) I respect that everyone has a right to their opinion and I’m just grateful that they would take the time to read my novel. As an avid reader myself, there have been books that I’ve read that didn’t particularly resonate with me at the time I read them. However, if they’d come at a different time, say six months earlier or six months later, then perhaps it would’ve been a different story. Pun intended. :) That’s just the nature of being a reader and/or a writer. It’s all subjective.

The other day as I was trying to get some writing done I decided that my house was too lonely and quiet (it’s amazing how with five children you become accustomed and even dependent on the noise) so I flipped on the TV for background noise and an old SATC episode was on. It was Carrie’s book launch party (great timing!) and the premise of the episode was Carrie being reviewed in the NYT and thus was asking “When it comes to life and love, why do we believe our worst reviews?” It must have been fate that I caught this episode (I rarely watch TV these days) because I realized that I was doing exactly that. One nasty review (by a stranger) and I’m upset for an entire day. But give me half a dozen good ones by people I love and suddenly they don’t “weigh” as much?!? Why? Because the people writing them happen to love –or at the very least like me? I called bullshit on that and quick. Which led me to finally get off my rear and share them here. :)

Check out the awesome email I received by the blogger that made my day. I redacted her name to protect her privacy/because I wasn’t given permission.

Hey there!

I just finished your book – it was a quick read! I have to be honest and say that while it was fun, it was a little “50 Shades” for me. I’m not a fan of that style and have published several rants about 50 Shades so I don’t think I’d be the right person to review or giveaway your book. 
I’m sure you’ll be hugely successful with it, and get tons of rave reviews! 

Best,

Name redacted.

SERIOUSLY, SHE COMPARED BEDROCK TO FIFTY SHADES OF GREY! THAT is a GINORMOUS compliment to me and HERE IS WHY!!

“Begged for more!! Eagerly awaited each chapter to arrive in my inbox. Such a great read… Can not wait for book #2!!” – Monica Roberts

“Very steamy! Can’t wait to get to work tomorrow so I can print chapters 10 & 11. I’m ready for the next chapter. What’s taking so long?!?” – Denise

“I was disappointed that there wasn’t a new chapter waiting for me this morning. When I’m done with this I’m probably going to have to pay you to write books just for me.” - Monica Roberts

“Ummm…I just finished reading Bedrock and I felt like the story was just starting. Are you writing book 2 yet?!?! Great book!”- Jordan Pierce

“Started reading Bedrock yesterday…I’m liking it. It’s dark…” - Polly Lockman

Anyhow, bad reviews or good, the book is coming out. It’s written. What’s done is done. It’s either hit or miss. So from here… I just have to keep my head down and do what writers do. Write and improve. Oh and by the way, I heart what Fiona says.

“But I honestly don’t read critics. My dad reads absolutely everything ever written about me. He calls me up to read ecstatic reviews, but I always insist that I can’t hear them. If you give value to the good reviews, you have to give value to the criticism.” - Fiona Apple 

Let’s Try This Again: Cover (Re)Reveal!

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” - Frederick Douglass 

“I can’t use that cover, Hunter. There’s something about it. I don’t like it…. it’s not right. It’s just not how it’s supposed to be.” I say, nudging him awake.

It’s three AM and for the third night it a row I’m up. Tossing and turning, unable to sleep. Something’s weighing on me. It’s because I hate the cover art, I finally decide. I simply don’t like the way it turned out. This must be why I’m not sleeping. But it’s something more, too. You see, I put it out there. Knowing I wasn’t in love with it. Knowing it wasn’t right. Knowing it wasn’t the way I wanted it. I knew this and yet I ignored that nagging little voice and went ahead with it anyway. Because I didn’t want to rock the boat. I wanted to be grateful. Instead of picky. So, I didn’t speak up. Yeah, there’s that…too.

“Fine. We’ll change it.” he mumbles, clearly annoyed.

I sigh and roll over. “We can’t change it now… I’ve already put it up. It’ll take a lot of work. And time… I’m out of time.”

“We’ll change it. Go back to sleep.”

And so I do.

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I’m glad he knows me so well.

Below is the updated cover. The art looks more like the artwork that was originally gifted to me.

I’ll sleep better knowing…..

Bedrock Cover with Barcode Final 300dpi

bedrock 1563x2500 300dpi

P.S. You can now mark Bedrock as to read (ATR) on Goodreads. I would so appreciate if you would… as adding it to your bookshelf helps me expose it to more people. So go do it now.  PLEASE. Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top. Oh and while you’re at it say hello and friend me over there, too. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

The Story Behind The Cover

“Writing the book was itself a process of concealing and revealing.” - Rick Moody 

Warning: This post contains the word vagina. If you are averse to the word vagina, you’ll probably want to stop reading here. :)

Drum roll……please.  So…today is THE day. I think it’s a good day for a cover reveal, don’t you?  First though, I thought it might be fun to share the story behind the cover….

You see, for the past ten years or so I’ve talked on and off (alright…sometimes incessantly, it depends on who you ask) about writing a book. I’ve always been a heavy reader and so anytime that I’d read something really good (or really terrible) I would often comment that I should finally starting writing “the book.” But life got busy, as life does, and I found myself nearly a decade later no closer to having written the novel.

Until, last year on my 30th birthday my husband presented me with this:

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As you can see above, in it he had drawn me a picture of one my favorite flowers (an orchid). When he gave it to me I clearly remember him saying something along the lines of: “Here. This is to write your book in. Now shut up. Quit talking about it. And just write the damn thing already. Will ya?!” Now I’m sure in actuality whatever he said was much nicer than that. But that’s what I heard.

And so I did. I wrote the book. 

When the time came time for the cover design I knew exactly who I would turn to. I’d already decided that I’d ask my husband to provide the cover art and my good friend and amazing designer, Polly to do the design work. Only my husband was knee deep (or neck deep, really) in a work project of his own and it quickly became apparent that if I continued with my usual shenanigans of ”I want this/not that” and/or “change this/change that”  he was either going fire me as a client or fire me as his wife. And since we can’t have that happening, I came up with the idea of using the flower in the journal he had given my for my 30th birthday The only problems was… it had no real relevance to the story. Crap! However, since desperate times call for desperate measures I decided to just write it in. And voila. Just like that…problem solved. I was able to retain my husband and had cover art I liked.

Next, I started showing people different versions of the cover and asking their opinion. And you wanna know what I learned while doing my market research? That my friends are dirty. They’re dirty, filthy minded people. God, love ‘em.

Every single one of them said the exact same thing:  ”Britney, do you realize that your cover looks like a vagina?”  Sigh. Ok, so it’s been noted :-/

 With that in mind…and without further ado…check out the cover for, Bedrock.

Come on. Seriously. Get your head out of the gutter, people. It’s nature! ;)

P.S. A HUGE thank you to Hunter and Polly for working so hard. They deserve a medal for putting up with me.

BIG Bad (And by that, I mean good) Book News.

“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.”― Benjamin Franklin

Ok, so maybe it’s not that BIG. But it’s big to me, all the same. Last week, I did a virtual handshake with an editor (as in copyeditor, not editor, as in publisher) who agreed to take on my novel. Back track to a few weeks before that, when I read an article featuring a writer who has major success (like best-selling success) after self publishing her work. I emailed this author and asked a few specific questions and much to my surprise, she emailed me back. With answers! One of the precious answers she gave was the name of the editor she used after her novel started taking off. I then emailed this editor who told me that she had five (or was it six?) authors who would be submitting their manuscripts to her during the timeframe I was looking to submit mine. After a little begging and pleading (which really means that I just moved my date up, and kinda feel like I might throw up, I’m so nervous about it) she agreed to edit my manuscript. After which, I did a long happy dance, followed promptly by putting my head between my knees and dry heaving into a paper bag.

I’ve thought long and hard about going the traditional publishing route versus self publishing. I know that some will say that self publishing is “selling out” but I disagree. If anything, self publishing is a ton more work because it requires doing everything yourself. Being that I’m crazy and all, there is something very appealing about this to me. I see it as an opportunity to learn the in’s and out’s of the publishing business. I already (for the most part) know marketing, event planning and community building. Plus, have a few good designers at my disposal (though I might want to re-think using the one I’m married to, I’m pretty sure he is about to fire me as a client) so I figure why not put this knowledge to the test by self publishing my first baby….um, I mean book. Same difference.

Actually, this process kind of reminds me of holding my first baby, staring at him, all the while thinking “Ok, what now? Holy shit, what in the hell did I do? HOW am I going to do this? Because, damn, I really can’t mess this up.”

Luckily, by the time the second baby came I knew more, felt more confident. And then came the next, and the next, and the next…..well, you get the idea. But because they were all a little different, and then suddenly I was given two at once, there was always a learning curve. But I did it. I learned. And more importantly, I’m still learning.

Already, I’ve learned a ton about the writing and publishing process. For example, it has taken me quite a while to understand that the beloved works of fiction I enjoy reading, all started somewhere. They, too, were once just an idea. At one point, all a first draft, Not only that, but it finally sunk in that comparing my manuscript to these books is a little unfair to myself. I figure it’s kind of like looking at a supermodel on the cover of a magazine and then waking up next to her. Sure, she might be pretty , even beautiful, in the morning, with no make up on and bad breath. But she isn’t what she was on the cover of that magazine without a team of people and a lot of help. And that has been the biggest lesson for me, one I still struggle with.

Which, brings me to where I am now. Holding my first baby, who at the moment, needs a lot of work. Soon though, I’ll release it to the world, and see what happens.

Which is so fucking scary.

Meanwhile, I queried my first agent last week and will continue to do so until….well, just until.

Now…. for the real BIG Bad ( I mean good) book news….I HAVE A DATE. My novel is tentatively scheduled to be available on Amazon, B&N and Apple’s iBook as of 5/1/13. Just in time for summer reading. EEK!

P.S. I’m still working on copyright stuff….but stay tuned, sneak peaks coming shortly.

Moving Forward.

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“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language and next year’s words await another voice.” -T.S. Eliot

First of all, Happy New Year! Personally, I love this time of year where everyone is focused on the chance for a “fresh start.” Everywhere I turn I can’t help but notice all of the resolution chatter and wanted to give my two cents…..

At the beginning of 2012, I did things as I always had and set my resolutions or “intentions” for the year. I had a little more clarity than the year before, I was more of “myself” than I had ever been. Yet, a few months in, I still found myself caught up (running myself ragged is probably a better way to put it) in striving for things (goals) that I thought I wanted, things that I thought would make me happy. I was happy, for the most part, albeit terribly misguided.

Then came July, when my brother died and I was left questioning everything that was. In my acute grief, I found clarity. The truth and I quickly found ourself on the same page. I couldn’t go on living in the future. I could no longer get by with saying someday. I couldn’t keep living for when. I needed to be present now. I had to enjoy today. Because life is short and there are no guarantees. So…that’s when I started asking why. Why was I chasing these particular goals? Why did I want these things? Was I focusing on what was really important? Were my priorities in line with what I ultimately wanted to achieve? Was the destination really more important than the journey?

I also realized that nothing outside of myself could really make me happy. No thing, no ideal weight, no award, no promotion, nothing. If I wasn’t happy with myself, just as I was, then what was the point? If I wasn’t enjoying the journey while trying to get to the destination, then why in the hell was I traveling in that direction in the first place?

So, I started focusing on more on how I felt. How I wanted to feel. And not just what I wanted to feel or achieve… in the future. How I felt and wanted to feel today. That’s the funny thing about grief. It often forces us to live life day by day. Otherwise, it’s just too scary. I stared asking myself on a daily basis what it was I wanted. If I wasn’t feeling what I wanted to feel, then I asked what it was that I needed to do to make it happen.

And then I let go. I stopped trying to control everything. I stopped trying to get to the next destination and started enjoying where I was at. By this point, I was SO over the guilt. I was so over worrying that I needed to do more of this and less of that.

Instead, I focus on my top priorities (more on how I determined those later, they are obviously different for everyone) and how I want to feel. I realize this may sound corny to a lot of you. Too out there. Too woo woo. And that’s ok. But I would like to point out, that behind every goal, everything we want to achieve, to do, to be, there is a feeling attached. A reason that we want what we want. And I believe that it is because we want to feel a certain way. We are chasing a feeling, not the goal itself.

Making decisions and setting my intentions based on my top three priorities and how I want to feel makes everything else that much easier to say no to. It makes it so that I don’t beat myself up about the rest. For example, I love The Most Interesting Man In The World ads, so I adopted his motto.

I don’t always workout at 5AM but when I do….__________.

I don’t always eat right but when I do…._______.

I don’t always blog but when I do…._______.

I play this game with myself, and instead of beating myself up, I laugh and get back into the mindset of thinking positively about those things and why I do them. Because here’s the thing…we’ll always get off track. Life will always get in the way. But…. I think that it’s our ability to get back up, that makes the difference. The more we get back up, the easier it becomes. We don’t have to wait for the New Year. We can make the choice daily.

“I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.” – Anaïs Nin

A Quick Update From Nanoland…..

“One half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it.”  ~Sidney Howard

I just want to give everyone a quick update from Nanoland…..which I am neck deep in. Ok, maybe technically only waist deep because today marks the halfway point, but you get the point.

For those of you who wonder what in the heck I’m talking about….I’m participating in my very first NaNoWriMo or National Novel Writing Month. I figured what better way to quit talking about writing and actually start doing it…. so here I am.

Of the 50,000 words needed to “win” I’m currently sitting at 28,316. And for those of you who think you’re going to strangle me if you hear one more thing about NaNoWriMo, I apologize.

That said, it’s interesting what NaNo has done for me. Not only has it provided me with the motivation to make this novel a reality (by actually writing it, what a concept, huh), a few new friends, and lot and lots of additional caffeine (can you tell?! :) ) , it has also provided me with data. Lots and lots of sweet, precious data, on when and even where I do my best writing. Which is not at all what I thought, so this alone has been priceless.

My characters now occupy my dreams every night, seemingly stealing what little sleep I get. And they talk to me, too, which is very very strange. I’m happy though. Really, really happy. And, did I mention, very well caffeinated? :)

So….here’s to stretch goals paired with a little bit of crazy! Oh…and speaking of stretch goals, I hope you’ll join us at Austin Women’s Network on December 5th as one of my favorite Executive Business Coaches, Stan Tyler, presents “Reaching Unreachable Goals”   where we’ll discuss, plan for, and learn how to best achieve our 2013 goals.

“Some of the world’s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.”  ~ Doug Larson

Doing Less. Being More.

“We are most productive when we focus on a very small number of projects on which we can devote a large amount of attention.” ~Albert Einstein

I read something this morning that really stuck me: “Perfection is the enemy of everything. We all want it. None of us will ever get it. Even though nobody in the world has ever achieved perfection in their craft, we still believe that it’s possible for us. Even if it were possible, it’s not preferable. Perfectionism may look good in his shiny shoes, but he’s a little bit of an asshole and no one invites him to their pool parties.” LOVE IT! It’s such good, incredibly truthful advice….and yet so easy to forget, if we are not reminded.

I’ve recently been offered some amazing opportunities. And have unfortunately had to say no many of them. I’m not sure exactly what is going on here….is the Universe trying to tell me something? Teach me the power of saying no? The art of discernment? I’m not sure…I only know that the decisions have been hard. After all, I can be AND do all things, right?!? Sadly, the answer is a BIG FAT NO! I cannot. And neither can you. There is this myth floating around that we can do whatever we set our mind to. It’s like that commercial for women that tells us we need to go out get the bacon, bring it home, and fry it too. ”The 24 hour woman.” It’s the myth that we can be all things to all people. This ideal that we can have it all.

The truth is that we can’t have it all. For me, I’ve found that “having it all” means having what it is that I desire-just not necessarily all of it, at the same time. Really, though this just means finding a handful of things that are important to me and focusing the majority of my attention on those. For example, I’ve been bombarded by requests and questions about why I’m not on Pinterest. I think (from what little I know) that Pinterest is great. But quite honestly, I do not have the time to devote to another “hobby” and even more importantly WHY on earth would I want to sign up for one more thing that leaves me feeling like “I’m not enough?” I’m not crafty enough, my kids birthday parties aren’t like so and so’s. And the list just goes on and on. This is my issue, obviously. But why take something on, just because “everyone else is doing it”? I’m not saying never to Pinterest, I’m just saying not now. And for those of you who are on Pinterest and love it, I think that’s great. I’m just sharing my personal story about trying to avoid the next “shiny” thing (distraction) that I’m told is destined to bring me closer to achieving my dreams.

I think too many people (myself included) make the mistake of adding to our plates with out stopping to remove something. It’s exactly like eating a meal. We can only put so much in before we start to feel sick, overwhelmed, and tired. We have to decide what we are going to put on our plate and what we are going to leave off. When we add something, it’s essential that we remove something. In order to make room. It sounds simple, yet so many of us fall into this trap time and time again , all the while asking “How DID I get myself into this?!?!”

I’ve recently decided to start doing less. While BEING more. You see, I’ve learned that my daily incessant busyness — too much to do and not enough time; the pressure to produce and tick off items on my to-do list by each day’s end — seems to decide the direction and quality of existence for me. But if I approach my day (and ultimately my life) in a different way, I can consciously change this out-of-control pattern. It only requires the courage to do less.

This may sound easy, but doing less can actually be very hard. Too often we mistakenly believe that doing less makes us lazy and results in a lack of productivity. Instead, doing less actually helps us savor all that we do accomplish. In time and with practice, we learn to do less of what is extraneous, and engage in fewer self-defeating behaviors, so we craft a productive life that we truly feel good about.

I believe that if we can fully own the notion that “we are great, just as we are.” And really let it seep into our mind and body, into our bones, it will make all the difference. We are each born with all the wisdom and imagination we need; we just sometimes need help and a reminder to return to our senses and get out of our own way. Sometimes we just need to let it sink in that nothing extra is required.

The truth is you have everything you need; just let go of whatever distractions, fears, and busyness might be hampering you. It really is that simple. Allow yourself to think and feel and live that way. Acting from this place results in greater composure, and when we act with composure, we are more effective. Now, this doesn’t mean that there aren’t lessons we need to learn and areas that we need to grow. It just means that we already have what we need inside of us. The answers are inside. Sometimes, it just takes the courage to realize this.

We know deep down that every life has great meaning, but the meaning of our own can often be obscured by the fog of constant activity and bad habits. By recognizing and changing these beliefs and behaviors, and we can once again savor the ways we contribute to the workplace, enjoy the sweetness of our lives, and share openly and generously with the ones we love. Less busyness leads to appreciating how sacred (and truly short!) life is.

It’s strange but for me doing less has lead to more love, more effectiveness and internal calmness, and a greater ability to accomplish more of what matters most — to me, and by extension to others and the world.

I encourage you to take a look at your schedule, your calendar, and really evaluate how much the things on there mean to you. How important are they? Are they allowing you to live the life you deserve? Do they bring you joy? Or do you just do them because you feel you have to? It’s what you’ve always done. Have these things (tasks) become so routine you rarely notice anymore? I challenge you to take a look. Start doing less. It will allow you to be so much more.

“The way you create any outcome in your life is to hold the vision of your deepest desires. At the same time, though, you must honestly and accurately assess your current situation and how it relates to your greater vision. By doing this, you engage tension between what is and what can be. This tension is the primary creative force behind the manifestation of any outcome. It’s as natural and powerful as the force of gravity”.~ David Emerald