“Would you just stay with me? Stay with you? What for? Look at us! We’re already fighting!
Well that’s what we do! We fight! You tell me when I’m being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you’re being a pain in the ass! Which you are, 99% of the time. I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings, you have like a two-second rebound rate and you’re back doing the next pain in the ass thing.
So it’s not gonna be easy, it’s gonna be really hard. And we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I wanna do that because I want you.”― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
On the subject of relationships and making them work (putting abuse, betrayal, and the extremes aside) I’m certainly no expert. In fact, I don’t know much. At all.
But I do know at least one thing…
Every partner you’ll ever have has the potential to be so horrible that you want to kill them… or at the very least plot it out. (I’m kidding, about murder, of course. But if you’ve ever been married for any longer than two seconds, you get me.)
Or the potential to be so wonderful that you want to be with them forever.
The part they are showing to you at any given time (for better or worse) has to also be active within you. It’s a reflection of sorts. Whatever the issue at hand is—it’s always on some level about the relationship you have with yourself. Understanding that relationship is the best gift you can offer. To the both of you.
You can blame the other person for their wrongdoings leading to your shortcomings if you want. It’s easy. I’m confident you’ll find ten-thousand forms of evidence to prove your point. :)
But it matters not. Ultimately, you are where you are because of the choices you made. No one wants to hear this, I know. But once you figure it out you’ll likely find yourself a whole lot happier.
And sometimes even right. :)